Cullen
by Fira Wolf-Hunter
Summary: When they find Lady Trevelyan unconscious in the snow, they are all distraught. But none so much as Cullen. He visits her tent as she is besieged by nightmares and stuck in a coma, being cared for by Mother Giselle. Fluff/Mushy Romance Ahead. Beware!


**Author's Note: This is just a bit of ridiculous, mushy fluff that I wrote because the scene would NOT leave my head until I got it down. It is so lovey-dovey it almost makes me cringe, but I like that stuff, so... Oh well. XD Reviews are welcome! Oh, and ***SPOILER ALERT*** Nothing TOO major, but there ARE some spoilers, so... BEWARE. ALSO: Thank you to the person who pointed out to my idiot brain that Mother Giselle is not a Mage. So I updated the chapter. XD**

* * *

"Cullen"

Evangeline had been sleeping for two days straight now, and had been kept alive by Mother Giselle, as if by magic. Cullen wasn't sure what the woman did in there all day, but the important thing was that Evangeline still lived. The other members of the Inquisition were distraught, but none were so conflicted as Cullen. Sure, he'd never been out there in the field with her, and they only spoke when she returned to Haven – now destroyed. But even in those short and awkward conversations, it had become quite clear that her intentions were… more on the personal side. It had caused quite a stir in his mind when she had so blatantly flirted with him before. Normally, her demeanor was much calmer, and, honestly, she was shyer than _he_ was about most things. She was very hesitant to call herself the Herald of Andraste, and always, _always_ asked Cassandra's or Josephine's or his advice before making a move when they called for meetings in the War Room.

He could not have hoped for a humbler woman, especially as she was a mage. Of course, with his Templar background, and all the things that had happened in his past, the idea of being flirted with by a Mage was… well, it was a complicated… thing. Whatever one wanted to call it. Even if he _did_ return her feelings, was it _right_ for a Templar and a Mage to… be together? He had always shot down Evangeline's attempts at getting him to return her advances, but now… she could _die_. And he had never even given her the time of day. He was _cordial_ , of course. And he liked her as a friend. He hoped they could call each other friends at this point. Life-threatening situations told you who your real friends were right quick. He trusted her with his – with _all_ of their lives. But did he _love_ her? He didn't know. Not yet.

Cullen had mostly avoided the tent in which Mother Giselle cared for the Herald. He quickly checked in on her every now and then, but no more or less than the others. Despite her critical condition, the Inquisition still had things to do. Everyone moped about, but they still managed to muddle through their duties. He didn't want to say it, but _if_ she died, they couldn't just immediately give up. Even if they couldn't close the Rifts, maybe they could at least kill Corypheus. It was a vain hope, but they needed to hope for _something_. Cullen had made sure everyone had gotten food and rest in the last forty-eight hours. He'd also made sure he'd not forgotten to eat and sleep _himself_ , but he was still exhausted.

He sat down heavily on a log that had become a makeshift bench a few hours ago, and put his head in his hands with a sigh. The waiting was… excruciating.

"Commander Cullen," came the Revered Mother's voice.

"Hmm?" He looked up, feeling tired. No, not tired. Bone-weary. He was mentally exhausted, emotionally drained… He was every kind of _tired_ there was. His eyelids drooped even as he attempted to sit up straighter on the log. Trying to keep up appearances and all that.

"Lady Trevelyan… She is still asleep, but she is calling for you, in her dreams. She has been having nightmares and calling your name for ze past two hours. I have done all I can for her. I believe ze only way for her to come back to us is for _you_ to go to her."

"Me?" Cullen asked, standing slowly and trying to understand. "She's been… calling my name?" He cleared his throat and looked away from Mother Giselle, feeling heat rising in his face. "Has she said… anything else?"

"Every once in a while, she will call out for Cassandra or Varric, or one of ze ozzers, but most of ze time, she calls for you."

"What… What do I do? Just talk to her?"

"Yes. I zink hearing your voice responding to her may help her return from her nightmares, and come back to ze world of ze conscious. She eez trapped in her mind, perhaps trapped wizin ze Fade. Go, now. Just talk to her. Tell her you are all right. Tell her everyzing. Anyzing you want."

Cullen cleared his throat once more, glanced at Mother Giselle, nodded, and began to make his way to the tent.

"Commander Cullen," she called to him after a moment.

He stopped and turned to her once more.

She hesitated, then seemed to come to a decision about something, and continued. "If you care for her, if you love her – and I zink you do – tell her. Even if nothing comes of it, love eez not somezing to hide. You work togezer, you are friends. She has been hiding eet from you, too, zough not very well. You need to talk about it. Ozerwise you may regret it for the ze rest of your lives."

Cullen had been holding his breath since the Revered Mother had said the word "love." He released it in a puff when she was done, and turned on his heel without a word. So it had been that obvious? He supposed Mother Giselle knowing wasn't really a bad thing. At least she had confirmed to him that he did love Evangeline. He took a deep breath and pulled back the flap of the tent, stepping inside.

Her dark brown hair, usually up in a little ponytail, pooled around her face, which was pale and sweating. She also shivered, despite being covered by three heavy blankets. They'd found her collapsed and unconscious in the snow two days before. She'd had to walk through a horrendous blizzard to find them. He couldn't blame her for being cold.

She let out a sound like she was afraid, brows scrunching together, and called out his name. "Cullen…" It was relatively quiet, but when she said it the second time, it was louder. "Cullen!" She seemed to be… shouting? But since she was asleep, even the louder call was still very quiet, and mumbled. Her head turned in her sleep, eyelids fluttering, like she was looking for something.

Cullen realized he'd been rooted to the spot for the past minute. When she'd said his name it had caught him completely by surprise, even though he was expecting it. He'd thought she was awake for a moment. He sort of jumped when he realized he hadn't gone to her yet, and shook his head before crouching beside her bedroll. He decided he was probably going to be in here for a while, and sat down completely. The ground was not very comfortable, especially in full armor, but at least the armor offered some padding for his behind.

He had no idea what to say, how to begin. He wanted to tell her right then and there that he loved her, but he also wanted to wait for her to be awake before he did that. He wanted her to hear him and to respond when he told her. He couldn't even be sure anything he said to her as she slept could be heard in her dreams. Was she really trapped in the Fade? Did dreams _always_ occur in the Fade? If that were true, wouldn't all dreams have the Black City as a backdrop? He shook his head. These were not questions for a warrior. He'd ask Solas later if the questions kept bothering him, even though he didn't much care for the elf – and not because he was an elf. There was just something about the guy that creeped him out.

"Cullen…!"

Her voice snapped him out of his thoughts again. "Focus," he muttered to himself, and blinked in surprise when her head turned sharply, eyes still closed, as if she could see him – as if she had _heard him_.

"Cullen? Cullen!"

She sounded so… _awake_!

He hesitated, then, feeling like a fool, began to talk to her. "I – I'm here, Lady—

No. If he was going to speak to her here, now, he would use her name.

"Evangeline," he said, and it felt foreign to his tongue. He'd said it maybe twice before, but had never really thought about it. "Evangeline," he said again, feeling slightly more confident.

But she did not hear him this time. Her body seemed to relax again and she let out a sigh, and turned her face away.

He wondered if that meant her nightmare had ended or if she just wasn't reacting as much to it. He had nightmares all the time, but he had no idea if he reacted to them with his physical body or not. No one had ever told him that he had, and it's not as if he would know that on his own. He wasn't aware of his sleeping body when he dreamt. Only his dream self.

"I'm right here, Evangeline," he said quietly, almost talking to himself at this point. He remembered Mother Giselle saying that she'd been calling the names of the others, too. "Everyone is here, actually," he went on. "Seeker Cassandra and Varric and Josephine. Iron Bull, too, and Dorian. Solas… They're all here. They all made it. They… _We're_ all… worried about you. Mother Giselle said I should come talk to you to see if it would wake you up. I hope it's helping."

"Cullen," she sighed again.

"I'm still here," he said.

Her brows scrunched again, and she made another sound in her throat. "Cullen?" she called, louder this time. "Cullen!"

The dry-sob is what broke him. When she made that almost-choking sound in her throat, hitched breath, like she was crying, something snapped.

"Cullen!"

"Maker," he said, feeling helpless. He got onto his knees and looked down at her, placing a hand against her cheek, trying to make himself feel like he was doing anything helpful at all. "Evangeline, it's alright. I don't know what you're dreaming about, but I promise I'm here. I promise."

* * *

Evangeline awoke an hour later, and turned her head slowly to look around. She hardly remembered what had happened once the others had found her collapsed in the snow. She remembered hearing their voices, though their words had been muddled and thick, like she was listening to them underwater. The beige canvas of the tent confused her for a moment. She wondered if she had failed and that was why the sky wasn't blue or even grey with clouds. But after a second, she realized where she was, and gave a sigh of relief.

Her head turned all the way to the side, and she nearly jumped out of her skin when she saw the dark bulky form of Cullen in full armor. He looked a bit like a bear, hunched over, forehead pressed into his knees. "Cullen?" she said, wondering how long he'd been sitting like that.

He seemed to let out a sob, but did not look up.

Alarmed, she sat up, though the motion made her dizzy. "Cullen, what's wrong?"

He was utterly silent and unresponsive for a good fifteen seconds, and then he slowly lifted his head and stared at her, eyes bloodshot and swollen. "Evangeline," he breathed. "You're awake."

"Y-yes?" she replied, hesitating and unsure of what he meant. "How long have I been asleep?"

"Two days." His voice cracked. "You fell unconscious and you've had the Sleeping Sickness for two days."

Right on cue, her stomach rumbled loudly. She felt a wave of hunger-nausea and weakness roll over her and laid back down, placing both hands against her head as a throbbing took over.

"I should tell Mother Giselle you've awakened."

"Wait." Her voice was quiet, and she did not look at him.

He waited, unmoving.

"How long have you been sitting here?"

"About an hour now. Maybe an hour and a half."

"You were crying."

"I… Thought you would never wake up." Cullen paused, remembering the Revered Mother's words about being honest with his feelings. He took a deep breath. "I care for you."

Evangeline lowered her hands, headache momentarily forgotten. "Those words could mean a lot of things."

His face grew hot as he realized he would have to spell it out for her. "I – I love you. As more than a friend. I was crying because… I was afraid I would never – that we would never…" He let out a frustrated sound, unsure of how to continue.

"I've loved you for a long time…" she whispered.

He looked at her. "We should have told one another sooner."

"Yes."

"I was afraid I would never get that chance. I was afraid you would die."

"The only thing that kept me from freezing in that blizzard was the thought of seeing you again." Her face was just as red as his.

"Really?" he asked gently.

She began to cry. Hard. Like suddenly someone had slapped her and now she was sobbing.

It took him by complete surprise, and he was stunned into paralysis for a few moments. He watched as she buried her face in her hands, sobs wracking her shoulders, whole body trembling. Motion returned to his limbs and he scooted close to her and wrapped his arms around her. She fell against him and cried and cried. His own eyes began to water again. "What is it?" he asked, feeling helpless again. "Maker's Breath, what's wrong?"

"I had such nightmares, Cullen! So many times I tried to find you in that blizzard – the one in my mind that trapped me in the Sleeping Sickness. I was lost in the blizzard and so were you! And we would call out to each other, over and over, and the wind would snatch the words one direction then the other. So I could never find you. I'd take a few steps forward, then the wind would carry your voice behind me so I'd turn and stumble over there. It happened so many times."

Well, this explained why she'd been calling for him. "You're awake now," he murmured, resting his cheek against her hair. "And everyone's here. Everyone made it. We're all safe."

"But Corypheus is still alive. How can we be safe?"

"All right, so we're safe _for the moment_."

"Cullen."

"Mm?"

She pulled away from him gently and lifted her head to look up at him. Her face grew hot, eyes shifting away from his. He was staring at her so intensely that she had to look away. It was embarrassing.

"Evangeline," he said, voice soft but with a tiny bit of that commanding edge he had when addressing his troops.

Her eyes snapped back to his, compelled to look at him.

One side of his face lifted into a smirk, the scar on his lip obvious, and somehow enticing. She'd always thought it made him look more rugged, handsome. She found her eyes drifting to it every few seconds. She let out a small breath, anticipating, looked back into his eyes, then to his mouth, then begging with her own eyes.

He lowered his head and kissed her, and she let out a gasp, arms tightening around his chest as best they could with his armor in the way. The warmth of his breath and his mouth against her was a _very_ nice contrast from the cold inside the tent. Despite having been beneath three different blankets earlier, it was still very cold. They were in the mountains. Snow and ice were a constant. The feel of hot breath against her lips, his skin against hers, caused a small moan of pleasure. How long she had wanted to kiss him! How long she had thought of him during her moments alone.

They kissed for a long time, until he pulled away with a deep breath through his nose, eyes closed. They opened slowly, stared at her with that intensity that sent little shocks through her body. His forehead rested against hers, breath slowly exhaled through his mouth, against her face like a summer breeze.

"You need food and water," he said.

"Don't leave."

"I will be right back. I promise. I'm going to tell Mother Giselle you are awake, and then go and get you food and drink, and bring it back here, and make sure you get it down."

"Alright," she agreed, and then sucked in a breath when he kissed her again, pressing into his body and – to her surprise – rather enjoying the bulk and support his armor provided. Though she did wish she knew what he felt like without it on. And not even sexually. She just realized she'd never seen him without his armor on. It was like he owned no regular clothes. She wondered if that was _actually_ true.

He ran a gloved thumb along her cheek and down her jaw, causing a shiver, and then smirked again, and stood and left. Seven minutes passed, in which the Revered Mother entered the tent without Cullen, and she barely heard a word the woman said. Finally, he returned, carrying too many things in his hands. A plate of bread and cheese, some jam and butter, a mug of something steaming, and after he had placed everything down, he pulled two apples from his pocket.

He sat down beside her, said, "Eat," and took a bite out of one the apples.

"Slowly," Mother Giselle cautioned. "You have not eaten or had anyzing to drink in two days. You will be very hungry, but if you eat too quickly, you will vomit." She looked at Cullen. "Tell me if you notice anyzing different about her. Changes in breazing, or if she suddenly feels very tired." She paused, then smiled in a knowing sort of way. "Try to refrain from physical contact. She must rest for a time."

Evangeline took a very big bite of bread, which she had been slathering with butter and jam, and pretended not to hear the Revered Mother. Cullen made a few stuttered attempts at speech, then gave up with a sigh and nodded. Mother Giselle smiled a little more, then left without another word.

For a time, there was nothing but the sound of chewing. Evangeline was a Healer. She knew enough not to stuff her face, even if Mother Giselle had said nothing to her. She took her time with the bread and cheese, taking small bites, and washing them down with sips of tea. The warmth from the tea helped her to relax, and made her sleepy. She couldn't believe how tired she could be after having been sleeping for two days straight, though it had not been a _restful_ sleep. She shook her head, refusing to think about the nightmares.

"What's wrong?" Cullen asked.

She looked up at him quickly, having almost forgotten he was there, which was surprising, considering everything that had happened in the past hour or so. Remembering the kiss caused her face to flush. Her eyes looked into his gorgeous hazel-brown ones for a split-second, and then her breath caught in her throat and she averted her gaze. Thoughts of many different _physical_ situations flitted through her mind all at once. Heat traveled all over her body.

And then he was leaning towards her. "Evangeline."

A finger lifted her chin, eyes solemn and searching and causing her heart to pound in her chest.

Finally, she whispered, "Don't look at me like that."

"Why not?" he asked, voice gentle and seemingly genuinely curious, as if he had no idea what he did to her.

"You don't _know_ that you… drive me _crazy_ when you look at me like that?" Saying it out loud made her even more embarrassed, but it would not be the first time she said something so blatantly to him. She had never meant to flirt so openly with him before, but it was as if her brain stopped functioning properly every time he looked at her. And when he _smiled_ , her body turned to mush.

"Well, I…" He smiled that smile she loved so much. "I do _now_."

She stared wide-eyed at him, then blushed some more and quickly averted her gaze again.

He chuckled and sent a shiver through her body. He was so _damn_ sexy, yet it was as if he had no idea. In truth, he _had_ to know, right? He couldn't be so naïve about it. That was why he smirked like that, wasn't it? Because he _knew_? He couldn't just walk around, back straight, issuing orders in a way that made her wish he would order _her_ around, and not _know_ that he was so _attractive_. She'd never had sex. Of course, she knew how it worked. She knew people had different kinks and fetishes, things that turned them on – or off. She knew the many positions, she imagined different ones herself, she masturbated – because who didn't? She wasn't _stupid_. But before she had seen Cullen command a whole army, or snap at a soldier who stepped out of line, she had no idea she was attracted to… powerful men.

There was something about the way he spoke, looked, walked… It issued forth from his body like it was alive – this… presence of command. It was like it was a living thing, separate from him, but a part of him. He wielded it and used it to his advantage. She wondered what it would feel like to have that stern gaze laid upon her – her body. She'd gotten small tastes, flickers of it before, like just then when he'd looked her in the eyes. But… She imagined herself red in the face and squirming beneath his gaze as she lay naked before him. Suddenly she was far too excited to eat. She pushed the wooden plate away with a hard swallow.

"Are you alright?" he asked, voice quiet with gentle concern.

It was so odd how he could go from being a stern, hard-faced Commander, to this gentle, loving man with a soft smile and light touch. She loved that juxtaposition. She wondered what it would take to flip the switch.

"Yes, I… was just thinking."

"Would you like to talk about it?"

"No!" she said, a bit too loudly and quickly.

He blinked quickly in surprise, body moving back an inch. "All right. We don't have to."

He continued eating in silence.

She sighed. "I'm sorry. I know you were trying to help. I'm just… Give me some time. I can't say everything I want to say to you all at once."

He gave her a small smile. "I understand."

She gazed quietly at Cullen for some time, her food still forgotten beside her. It sounded cliché, but she couldn't help but think she would wake up suddenly and realize none of this had happened. It made her chest ache. "I love you," she whispered, before she lost the courage to say it.

He looked up at her slowly, eyes solemn, but kind. "I love you, too."


End file.
